Busy, busy, busy...

Finally had the shoot - two days for the paying gig. It was fun in a weird sort of way. Weird because it was a tough shoot - too much material, not enough time and not enough money - but yet still fun because it was a shoot. Now I'm editing which is a lot fun and now that I think about it would be a great job for a vampire since about the only light I see during the course of a day is the warm glow of my flat screen.

Anyway - right before I went into the whole thing I posted Episode 9. At the moment it's the season finale, but you never know. I kind of like the way it leaves things and I have ideas for more, but the ideas I have kind of take it in new direction.

Here's the link (no more Funny or Die, they reworked their website and kind of boned guys like us)

Episode 8 "Double Lesbian Twist"

Sorry - forgot to cross post this here...

YouTube

Well, we're up on YouTube.

I had kind of resisted posting on YouTube for two reasons, one - is I think it's essentially a freakshow with the best and the brightest falling behind the weirdest, scariest and sickest. The second reason is that the codec YouTube uses to compresses the videos sucks donkey balls.

But - YouTube recently added a function whereby the viewer can click a little link at the bottom right hand corner of the frame and watch the video in higher definition. It's still a freakshow, but it's a freakshow with a monstrously big audience. Heck, even the music videos I did, which have a limited following to begin with have gotten two thousand clicks each.

So - for all my loyal readers, here's the LINK.

Episode 7 Up

So I just posted Episode 7, "Hi, Hi, Bernie" of Grande Con Carne. I'm looking forward to seeing what the reaction is on this one since it has a couple of industry "in" jokes.

But in keeping with the age old internet tradition of keeping your eyeballs glued to this page forever - here it is:

Grande Con For Sale

"Grande Con Carne" is looking for a home. 

I realize that while we look like a slickly produced, big-budget, high-concept, years-in-development webseries with gobs and gobs and gobs of venture capital™ firms pounding at our door, dying to moentize® our efforts,  such, I can assure you, is not exactly the case.

"Grande Con Carne" has been produced on a shoestring budget, independently and with a only a few bottles of water and a bag of Chips Ahoy as craft service. 

Of course, to the layman, the casual viewer, the porn-weary web surfer, we are an oasis of comedy gold, but little do they know the peculiarities of the entertainment industry.

Submitted for your approval: my Mom and Josh's Aunt Lisa firmly and sincerely believe that "Grande Con Carne" should be made into a TV show, and I, for one, am not going to dissuade them of their opinions. And it may well be so that "Grande Con Carne" should, in point of fact, be made into a TV show. But it's also the case that I've been so busy making the damn show that I haven't exactly had time to get the word out. Well, this, my loyal reader(s) (and any agents, managers, producers or new media™ titans who occasion to happen upon my humble blogging efforts), is the official getting out of the WORD. 

"Grande Con Carne" is for sale. Kind of. What we'd like is to find some nice production company or web portal™ to finance or "partner" with our further efforts (while leaving us in complete creative control, with 99.995% ownership). It's not that I want the money, heaven knows I have no desire to sell out my artistic ambitions, but it's just that I feel it's "unfair" to all those viewers out there who have yet to see "Grande Con Carne" to keep it to ourselves.  So if you, or someone you know is the next Pierre Omidyar or Chad Hurley, please shoot us an email. We'll be happy to talk.

There Once Was a Man From Nantucket

The LA Times writes today about Judd Apatow's engorged efforts to thrust the display of male genetalia more securely into the modern film age. The story outlines an episode in the new "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" where the main character, played by Jason Segel, is fully and frontally nude for quite some time. The scene, according to the article, prodded the audience at South by Southwest to fits of laughter. Apparently serious comedic benefits can be accrued by filmmakers willing to sling their sausage in the faces of movie goers. Given that the title of this blog and of my webseries, Grande Con Carne, is in fact a thinly veiled double entendre regarding the aforementioned male appendage, I am sympathetic to this argument. The problem with the article is that the author assumes this is a new thing when in fact phallic comedy is as old as the hills.

In 411 BC Aristophanes used erect phalluses to great comedic effect in his play "Lysistrata".

Here are just two examples, though more abound throughout the play.

CINESIAS:(To the audience and pointing at his jolting prick)

My God, this prick! It’s worse than starving Hercules, waiting for his lunch.

HE LIES DOWN WAITING WITH HIS PHALLUS POINTING AT THE SKY. MYRRHINI ENTERS WITH A PILLOW.

and then later:

SPARTAN HERALD:

That’s a… that’s a… Spartan message rod.

CINESIAS:

Hah! If that’s a Spartan message rod then so is this (Indicates his own phallus)

Don’t worry friend, I know what’s up. You can tell me the truth. How are things with you men in Sparta?

SPARTAN HERALD: (Moral relaxation ensues after the disclosure but he is still visibly, very uncomfortable physically because of the affliction (ed note: the "affliction" is an erection))

All of us, Spartans, as well as allies, have stiffies like this one. We all need a fuck!

(ed. note: the original Greek word for "fuck," according to Google is: γαμω)

The Web Series: Episode 6

For all my adoring fans and loyal readers here is episode 6 without the added heartache of navigating away from this page:

Gone viral

I know this may sound a bit like I'm blowing my own horn (which, I've learned, is a phrase you NEVER want to use on a porn set) but I'm pretty surprised with the feedback I'm getting on this web series we're doing. I mean, I'm kind of just used to sending stuff out and having it disappear into the void of the endless email, but people are actually writing back and telling me how much they like it. I've even heard from people who heard about it from other people, which means, dare I say, that we have officially gone VIRAL!!!

In other news, we're casting this afternoon for the next three episodes.