Star F*cking (that asterisk is for those of you with delicate sensibilities)

This is a post I posted on my myspace blog, but since I really am not wild about myspace (and how can you possibly be wild about a website that really only has full functionality in Internet Explorer) I figured I'd repost it here which is a touch ironic since the post itself relates entirely to the whole myspace "friends" thing (and because, you know, my readship is so wide and varied on this site).

Star F*cking all the way to the Century Mark

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been adding celebrities to our friends list at a brisk clip. I’ve also been including them in the "Top Friends" list, which may or may not be annoying some of you depending on whether or not you used to be on the "Top Friends" list.

There are two reasons for this. One is that I’ve been trying to reach the 100 Friends mark (I’m just kind of needy that way), so I was adding friends (plus, I just need all the positive affirmation I can get, sniff...). The other is that I’ve been adding friends who have some celebrity, not, as you might think, in the hope that some one of them might see our valiant, if humble efforts to provide top-notch, sex-farce comedy to the internet audience (which is clearly and sorely lacking of such material) and pass that information along to some one of their high-powered, juice-wielding friends who could make a single phone call and have us all employed providing top-notch, sex-farce comedy to the television or feature film audience (which is clearly and sorely lacking of such material) but in fact I’ve been adding celebrity friends with the hope that some of you out there might say, hmmm... I wonder if they really KNOW that guy?

-RJ

Full Disclosure: I actually have met, was complimented by, and traded a few brief emails with Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling.

Gone viral

I know this may sound a bit like I'm blowing my own horn (which, I've learned, is a phrase you NEVER want to use on a porn set) but I'm pretty surprised with the feedback I'm getting on this web series we're doing. I mean, I'm kind of just used to sending stuff out and having it disappear into the void of the endless email, but people are actually writing back and telling me how much they like it. I've even heard from people who heard about it from other people, which means, dare I say, that we have officially gone VIRAL!!!

In other news, we're casting this afternoon for the next three episodes.

Unintentional Comedy

I saw a movie poster on the side of a bus yesterday for a film called, "Made of Honor." At first I thought it was a joke because the tagline ("It takes a real man to become a maid of honor") seemed like something you'd hear in an episode of the "Simpsons" or "South Park." But no, it turns out it's a real movie.

Then this morning I was reading an article in the Hollywood Reporter about Oliver Stone's "biopic" (I believe that merits quotes) of George Bush (which I also assumed was intended humorously the first time I heard about it) and caught this great little tidbit at the end, "(Elizabeth) Banks, repped by UTA and Untitled, next appears opposite Eddie Murphy in the comedy "Meet Dave" and then opposite Aaron Eckhart in "Meet Bill." "

You just can't make this stuff up.

It's got me thinking about the William Goldman line Hollywood loves to quote, "Nobody knows anything."

Casting again

I've written three more episodes, but they're a little edgier than the ones we have up so far. We're holding auditions on Thursday and I'm hoping we can get a good turn-out. Of course when you're asking people to work for free, edgy tends to be tough. Especially when some of that edgy revolves people walking around with very little on.

My casting director, Mark Sikes, is good, so I'm not too worried.

Episode 5

You have to take my word for it that this episode is hilarious. It's not funny in a joke, joke, punchline kind of way, but it's more a sublte Ricky Gervais kind of funny.

I figure if I'm laughing at my own material, I might as well post good reviews too.

enjoy.

Episode 4

I'm in love with this episode - which, I admit, as a writer/ director is kind of like laughing at your own jokes, but hey, if you don't you can't expect anyone else to laugh either.

Episode 3

Episode 3 and 4 were originally scripted as one episode but there was such a natural break in it I decided to break it up into two.

The Episodes

I'm a little behind on posting the episodes here so here we go - all in a row.

Episode 2

Some snark about on-screen credits and Web Video

Having been someone who was pummeled into submission (I'll tell my story about Volcano later) by never having received an on-screen credit that I could actually go to a movie theater and watch on, as we say, the BIG screen, I fully understand, all too well (to be extra redundant) the allure of seeing your name in white font. HOWEVER, as you may have noticed - if you're reading this - and if you're watching my current extra-small-screen epic, Grande Con Carne over at Funny or Die (please vote (click on the FUNNY tab)) you will notice that I have NO on-screen credits even for my Orson Wellsian-like contributions to that project.

See the thing is, when you have two and one half to three minutes to set up your story, tell a few jokes and get out (which, from my work at an actual website where money was paid for this kind of thing, seems to be the industry standard) - and create an enjoyable experience for your audience - most of whom are taking a quick break from either work or porn - 30 to 45 seconds of screentime (that's 20 to 30 PERCENT) devoted to credits is, as we say in the business, dumb. Especially at a site like Funny or Die (where I have  Grande Con Carne posted) (please click FUNNY) and they give you space - right next to the frame to include credits so that any viewer, can, at any time during viewing, easily refresh their minds as the identity of who provided craft service.

As promised - the VOLCANO story. A number of years ago, in my Camera Assisting days, I was hired to do work on the visual effects unit of "Volcano." I was part of a relatively large camera crew devoted to shooting miniature lava flowing down the streets of miniature Los Angeles that could then be composited into shots of Tommy Lee Jones and Anne Heche running around trying to save each other's (as well as the rest of the city's) cookies.

Anyway, I worked on it for a few MONTHS and as the freelance lifestyle goes we finished and I was off onto something else. I did get called back for one more week, but having already found gainful employment elsewhere, I declined and another Camera Assistant was hired to fill in for that WEEK. Later, I was invited to a cast and crew screening at Mann's Chinese theater - which was pretty cool. The Producer (one of them) got on stage before the show and thanked everyone for the working on this and told everyone how they'd made this giant effort to include everyone in credits - even people who had only worked on the project for one or two DAYS.

So - stoked that I was going to get my first ON-SCREEN credit in a MAJOR motion picture, I sat with bated breath watching and reading at the end. Along came the VFX credits and there were the names of my compatriots including the name of the fellow who filled in for that last week I could not be there, but NOT including mine.

I ask for no sympathy, only understanding.

And maybe some cash if anyone feels like sending any.

Oh - and VOTE Grande Con Carne  

Are you watching

Grande Con Carne the Web Series is up and running and doing great. We're pushing them on Funny or Die because I think the community is better there as well as the video compression they use.

The links for episodes 3 and 4 are here:

I'd embed them, but the frame seems to overlap in blogger. There doesn't appear to be a way to make it fit well.

Episode 3 http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4857f81dcc

Episode 4 http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c2cf5dfdcb


RJ

Deliberating over when to repost

What's the half-life of a web series. On TV - a new episode per/ week - but shout I post more than that of my Webisodes? It's frustrating because currently we have 5 in the can, but I don't want to blow them out. Then again - the first is doing well and I don't want to lose that momentum.

Sigh... maybe I'll post it.

I just feel like I should wait.

Grande Con Carne: The Web Series

So my web series, by the same name, is up and running and doing quite well on Funny or Die. I have it up on YouTube and MySpace as well, but the video quality on those two sites sucks donkey balls, so I'm directing people over to FoD. Here it is and PLEASE VOTE FUNNY, even if you have no sense of humor (I know, don't insult the viewers before they watch it - that's a good creed).